The Vagina Less Traveled

You know what can be a real party pooper sometimes?  Standards.  Seriously, a total buzzkill cockblocker.  Standards make for a long journey on this road of dating. WWMD?  What Would Morrissey Do?  He would just stretch out and wait, I suppose. 

Maybe it's the start of Mercury retrograde this week or the nip of cold in the air, as fall forces summer days into the shorter and cooler kind, but I am feeling somewhat frustrated when it comes to my "romantic" life.  More than likely it just means I need a break from the mirage perpetuated via social media and to spend some quality time getting grounded in reality and centering with some creative projects. When I see these over the top expressions of love on social media it just makes me want to stab myself in the face, which is crazy because the way I express and receive love doesn't even mesh up with these types of expression anyway.  I mean good for them, but barf.  Would I trade my life for theirs really?  To not be Christine and not have the life and freedom I currently enjoy?  Nope.  In the meantime, I'll just be over here cataloging my vinyl collection, cooking up some weird creative ideas with Jamie, enjoying fun East Bay hangs with Kyle and others or writing this piece you're reading here.  Chi needs to get channeled somewhere and my chi is backed the fuck up.

What I am finding is time and time again I am seeing people who seem to spend zero time on introspection or self-improvement (which I seem to spend endless amounts of time on) having zero trouble dating or finding a partner.   E.T. phone home because this bitch could use someone to ride her bike with from time to time or maybe go catch dinner or a movie.  Jamie and I were goofing last night about the fact we must have been dropped out of some damn spaceship like Mork from Ork and there are no other aliens to match us on this planet.  Not true, but it was funny and led us to a ridiculous photoshoot idea, which will be entitled, "loving the alien."  In the dating void, there is more time to do you and crap out some creative projects, no matter how irreverent.  Silver lining.

Realistically, I know I am hardly dying from loneliness and live a happy and abundant life, but, yeah, what about some sexy love and attention from a handsome and intelligent counterpart?  Someone who will tell me when I have spinach in my teeth and make me excited when I see their name pop up on my phone or even someone I'd allow or trust enough to have my number.  It really seems like a relatively easy request in the scope of life requests.  I am not looking for someone to scoop me out of some dark, hellish well of a life like Precious while Goodbye Horses cranks over the hi-fi.  My life is good.  I am simply looking for another human to share in the good life I have already built for myself.  The cherry on top.  I don't need another person to complete me.  Barf, I hate that notion.  You're half a person?  You better really dig deep and grow that second leg and stand on your own before dragging me into your life.  I want a whole person, because I am one myself.  But that isn't exclusive.  It's an AND.  I am a whole person AND I crave a counterpart. That's not weak or unfeminist, it is natural and human.  I am not Sasquatch here where I am destined to a life of solitude while running for cover in the overgrowth of the forest while people try to snap my blurry picture.  What I seek is simple and human.   The basics of what I seek boil down to another attractive smartass like myself who is a pop culture lexicon, has style, likes to keep busy doing interesting and fun things, knows what a bookcase is and has one (or more) at home, handles adult responsibilities, is a lifetime learner, knows great music/loves going to shows, has their own cool life, and who can talk endlessly about a myriad of topics, yet can also sit in silence and contemplation... oops, wait.. there they creep in again... those standards.

All in all, here's what having standards really means - it's going to take a fucking long time to find a suitable partner.  Because in the world of having standards, you settle for nothing less than a partner with standards of their own.  In this setting, you have two people who aren't necessarily easy to get close to because they each live with the knowledge of their value.  I may be belly aching about this topic today, but I also know it isn't worth caving for something less just because I am frustrated and impatient in this moment.  The lowest hanging fruit is always the easiest to pick and the least desired.  I want my special brand of hot, off-beat, sexy, weirdo who somehow also miraculously lives mindfully and responsibly.  The sweetest, largest and juiciest peach at the top of the tree.  The one that the birds haven't pecked to shit. I've held out this long, so I keep true to my mantra of "Never Settle," while sitting in my life lesson of patience.  I am a patient girl, I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait...